It feels like everyone, whether they’re an RPG fan, a tabletop enthusiast, or just a lover of games in general, has played 2023’s Game of the Year and all-around masterpiece, Baldur’s Gate 3. I mean, it would be absolutely ridiculous if someone hadn’t played Baldur’s Gate 3 at this point, right? It has been nearly two years since it was released, it’s had numerous massive updates, and so many people have praised it endlessly in a smorgasbord of YouTube video essays, related or unrelated to the topic at hand. Surely, considering all of that, everyone has played it by now?

Well, I haven’t played it. It is my big, dark secret, the one I dare not share with my friends, the one I pretend isn’t true, that I bury deep down. I’ve distracted myself with game after game, with some of the best RPGs available that aren’t Baldur’s Gate 3, all in an attempt to forget that I still haven’t played perhaps the greatest game ever made. Unfortunately, the time has finally come for me to accept my shortcomings and come to terms with exactly why I haven’t, after all this time, played the legendary Baldur’s Gate 3.

I Really Want To Play Baldur’s Gate 3

It Is One Of The Greatest RPGs Ever Made

Baldur’s Gate 3 is, of course, a much-discussed phenomenon, but I don’t personally believe that its undeniable popularity alone warrants playing it. Rather, the reason I truly, genuinely, and very desperately want to play Baldur’s Gate 3 is because it is one of the most freeform RPGs on the market, and a game that truly values player choice and freedom, while still offering an engaging narrative. Or, so the many glowing BG3 reviews have told me. It is absolutely up my alley as someone who adores the RPG genre and has sunk many, many hours into Divinity Original Sin 2.

I also want to finally meet BG3’s most popular characters and immerse myself in its epic story. I’m aware of who Asterion is, or at least, what he looks like, and that I’d almost certainly attempt to romance Karlach if it’s possible, but beyond their surface-level traits and appearance, which I’ve gleaned from videos, I don’t know much about this now iconic cast of characters. It very much feels like knowing about the cast of Friends or Parks and Recreation, but never having actually seen the show or understood why those characters are so popular to begin with.

There’s also BG3’s most beautiful locations, many of which have been spoiled for me, that I’d love to visit, as well as its amazing combat, which sounds about as chaotic as it does strategic. That is my favorite type of combat. Of course, those who’ve played Baldur’s Gate 3, which, again, seems to be everyone but me, know about all of this stuff already. I guess the feeling of being left out is playing somewhat on my mind, and yet, despite that merging with genuine curiosity, I still can’t bring myself to grab my controller and actually begin playing it.

Baldur’s Gate 3 Is Too Long

It Is Impossible To Get Stuck In

Amazingly, I already own Baldur’s Gate 3. I have a huge Baldur’s Gate 3 box sitting on my shelf, taunting me as I work, as I game, as I watch Fullmetal Alchemist for the umpteenth time, as I eat my breakfast. It haunts my dreams, floating alongside all of my other unresolved regrets like a gaggle of high school bullies from a Steven Spielberg movie. Of course, I’ve told myself repeatedly that I’d crack it open and start playing. The problem is, at least initially, I felt I had to wait until all the amazing BG3 updates were released.

Naturally, that took some time. Then, I wanted to wait until a friend of mine was free to play together, as I wanted to experience all of BG3’s secret co-op content. However, that never transpired, as it turned out they were waiting for me to finally start playing and got bored. Eventually, I was stuck with no one to play it with and a still-sealed boxed copy. After all this time staring it down, hoping Baldur’s Gate 3 would just play itself, I’ve realized that the game is simply far too long for me to actually commit to.

Unlike a lot of people, I have to play one narrative-based game at a time. I can’t divert my attention between multiple games, as I find I quickly forget what was happening and give up. Knowing that Baldur’s Gate 3 would take me 100+ hours to beat, I always pushed it back in favor of shorter experiences. As I get older, my time has become increasingly budgeted, to the point that even 10-hour-long games feel long. Between work, household responsibilities, and spending time with my wife, I just don’t have the time to play something like Baldur’s Gate 3.

The immense existential dread I get from even thinking about starting Baldur’s Gate 3 is enough to discourage me from playing it, at least for now.

This may not be an issue for most people, but the immense existential dread I get from even thinking about starting Baldur’s Gate 3 is enough to discourage me from playing it, at least for now. It’s a genuine shame, as I know that were I to sit down and play it, I’d have an amazing time. But with the sheer volume of new games releasing every week, coupled with my dwindling amount of free time, as much as it kills me to say it, I just can’t play Baldur’s Gate 3, and I don’t suspect that will ever change.

BG3 Might Be Best In Handheld

A Switch 2 Port Could Convince Me To Play It

Of course, I never want to say never to a game like Baldur’s Gate 3. I do suspect that a handheld version of the game would better suit my more restrictive lifestyle, as, not only would I be able to play on the go, but I’d also be able to utilize the few minutes I have in bed before sleeping, or even while I’m in the bath, to get through the overwhelming number of quests available. Who needs to read, watch TV shows, or do literally anything else when you can dedicate months of your life to just one game?

While I own a ROG Ally on which I could play BG3, it’s overly clunky and very prone to being dropped. However, BG3 would make for an excellent third-party Switch 2 title, and I can imagine myself playing it on it. However, I said the same about The Witcher 3, after having bought it on PlayStation, PC, and Xbox beforehand, and I still haven’t beaten that. Maybe I just don’t like RPGs as much as I thought? Either way, I sincerely hope one day I finally play Baldur’s Gate 3, as I’d quite like to know what a Lae’zel is.